I wanna bring you to show and tell
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
