My brain says no but my pants say off.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
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