This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
