he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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