There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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