i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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