So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
