i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
