So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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