But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
