only if we run a train.
done.
well you can't waste a boner
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
