me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
