do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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