I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize