The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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