he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
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Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
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I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Im part way to drunk.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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