I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize