Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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