it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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