don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
