he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
