And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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