I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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