I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
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