just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
farters have to be the big spoon...
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
