She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
