Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Green mimosas i think yes
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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