just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
