how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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