dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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