If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
