Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
