ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
