I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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