Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
