fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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