We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
