we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize