The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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