i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Randomize
