they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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