Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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