no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
