It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
