people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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