Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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