He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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