? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Randomize
