you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
