it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
You made out with two different species that night
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
