Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
