you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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