my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
