spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Let's get the cat blown out
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
