He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
