Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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