This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
