After last night, I could never be a politician.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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