If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
