If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
